Shock wave therapy, lithotripsy
New Treatment For The Fractured Male OrganBy Dr. Gifford Jones
“So you’re the doctor who wrote that column!” I’m still greeted by that remark even though it’s 11 years since I first wrote about “The Fractured Male Organ”. I know doctors shouldn’t make light of a patient’s medical problems. But I couldn’t stop chuckling when I first researched this malady. Now there’s a new treatment for this embarrassing problem.
A man was admitted to the emergency department at 1:00 A.M. in obvious distress. He was agitated, his skin cold and clammy suggestive of blood loss. Doctors were shocked to find a markedly swollen penis as the cause which required immediate surgery to remove a large blood clot.
The $64.00 question, how did it happen? He was reluctant to explain, but finally admitted he had been masturbating vigorously when he heard a sudden snap followed by intense pain and swelling. The diagnosis? A fractured penis, the 67th case to be reported in world literature. But it was how other cases occurred that amused me.
One Romeo was making love to his partner standing up. He must have been one hell of a lover because she suddenly fainted. This sudden, precipitous fall fractured his organ.
A 26 year old man’s honeymoon came to an abrupt halt. He became so overwhelmed with passion during sex that his penis struck his brides hard pubic bone. Both parties heard a sudden clicking sound and then stared in utter amazement at the bent penis. Another newly wed fractured his organ while rolling over in bed during an erection. What a horrendous way to start a honeymoon!
Dr. Ashraf, an English urologist, reported on several other cases in the Journal of Urology. One of his patients was an 18 year old shepherd who was in a tree watching his sheep. But alas, he fell asleep and his mind must have wandered to pretty girls. He developed an erection, fell out of the tree onto a wooden bar, and another snap occurred.
One Casanova was romancing his partner in a moving car. But during intercourse the car suddenly stopped. He was tossed against the dashboard with the same result. Another man slammed his penis in a car’s door. This sure takes considerable skill and planning! Still others bumped into chairs or beds during the night.
The majority of cases require pressure dressings, anti-inflammatory drugs, sometimes surgery. Tranquilizers are usually needed to calm these terrified males and needless to say they’re cautioned not to have an erection for several days! 90 percent of men are left with an upward angle to the penis which causes pain and makes sex difficult. That’s no laughing matter.
The first case of penile fracture was described by the physician to King Louis XIV. And some doctors believe this condition is more common than previously suspected.
Dr. Olisa Awogu, a urologist at Southend Hospital in Essex, England, recently spoke to the American Urological Association. He presented 31 cases of men suffering from this condition and how the bent penis can be helped by shock wave therapy.
Shock wave therapy (lithotripsy) has been used for several years to break up kidney stones, to treat tennis elbow and plantar fasciitis, a painful heel condition. Now, Dr Awogu reports that lower doses are helping many patients with a scarred bent penis. Several of his patients now have a straight organ. Others have less of an angle.
Dr. Gordon, a Toronto surgeon, and shock wave specialist, says the success rate for decreasing the angle is about 28 percent. But it’s of great help in easing pain during an erection.
Since preventive medicine is always better than cure there are some lessons to be learned from this misfortune. It’s invariably safer to lie down while making love. But if great lovers think otherwise they must be prepared to catch the fair damsel if she suddenly faints. You must never, never make love in a moving car. Keep a flashlight at the bedside to avoid obstacles. And I’m sure the shepherd now keeps one eye open while watching his sheep.
Dr. Gifford Jones Bio
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W. Gifford-Jones M.D is the pen name of Dr. Ken Walker graduate of The Harvard Medical School. He’s been a ship’s surgeon, hotel physician and family doctor and later trained in surgery at McGill in Montreal, University of Rochester N.Y. and Harvard. His medical column is published by 60 Canadian newspapers and several in the U.S. He is the author of seven books. Dr. Walker has a medical practice in Toronto. His Web site is: http://www.mydoctor.ca/gifford-jones He ca.n be reached at: